Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ann Taylor Joins Dark Forces, Commands Minions to Spread Evil

Among the pile of crap that disguised itself as e-mail today, I found a message from Ann Taylor, designer of affordable and practical ladies’ fashions. While I can’t say I’m much of a dress horse, I admit to having a weakness for Ann Taylor’s tantalizingly roomy size sixes (which, if I understand my UK sizing correctly, is the equivalent of 23 shaftments and a King’s knuckle).

I was just about to open Ann Taylor’s e-mail, when I noticed its subject heading:

Support Breast Cancer and Reward Yourself

To say that I was shocked by this endorsement of nefarious hedonism would be an understatement. Needless to say, I trashed the message without viewing its full contents, as I did not wish to be tainted by its Mephistophelian funk.

Hear me, Ann Taylor, you wicked Betty Crocker of the fashion world . . . . I will not join your evil campaign to support breast cancer for my own personal fun and profit. It is not right, and I will not stand for it.

Good day, madam.


anaglyph said...

It's shameful to think that in this enlightened time there are those who are doing Satan's work.

evenstar said...

"23 shaftments and a King’s knuckle"

I just sprayed my drink all over my 'puter!

Please Storchy - can I have some more?

extrastorchy said...

I made myself giggle a little with that one, Evenstar. I've been bogged down with work and school lately and I'm just winding down on a project. Maybe I'll find some time to goof around later today.