Sunday, March 04, 2007

She's Still in School . . . .



Ah, yes. . . . a glimpse back at the days when Storchy had nothing better to do than to take photos of her feet next to random household objects. But those days are gone, now, as I find myself sloshing about in the cesspool that is midterm season. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I decided two years ago enroll in the university transfer program at the local community college, but I now know better than to make decisions like that when I’m drunk.

Since I don’t have a lot of time to fool around today, I’ll just update you on a couple of things:

1.) Trigonometry blows. I don’t know what Poindexter at UNC decided to make trig a requirement for all liberal arts majors, but it was obviously someone who strangles bunnies and slaps the elderly just for shits and giggles. I’m majoring in history, not science. The only time I’ll ever use information about sine waves again is during the opening credits of Outer Limits reruns.

2.) I recently wrote this sentence for a midterm paper in my American lit class:

“By repeatedly using realism to shatter romantic notions in The Awakening, Kate Chopin parallels the manner in which realistic literature thrust aside romanticism in the late 19th century.”

When I say things like this, I don’t really mean them. I pulled every word of that sentence out of my ass. I will continue to write wretched drivel like this as long as my instructor rewards me for doing so. This, I feel, is teaching me the wrong lesson.

3.) I love nuts. Especially pecans and cashews.

4.) I love the Bee Gees. Especially the late-'60s albums.

5.) Lately, when I'm not working or studying, I am usually listening to the Bee Gees with my mouth full of nuts.

8 comments:

JAG said...

"“By repeatedly using realism to shatter romantic notions in The Awakening, Kate Chopin parallels the manner in which realistic literature thrust aside romanticism in the late 19th century.”"

That's the way, babe - dazzle 'em with bullshit!

extrastorchy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anaglyph said...

Is it the nuts or the Chicken Noodle soup that make your feet go green?

extrastorchy said...

I am the Queen of the Crock!

...o' Shit.

extrastorchy said...

Those feet were born green, baby!

Tom Meltzer said...

That sentence is surprisingly coherent. That sort of thing may fly at Durham Tech but you will really have to ratchet up the bullshit if you expect to survive at UNC.

xoxo

Wendy said...

I have a vague recollection of some pre-SNF Bee Gees record that I played over and over and I can't remember! Now it will haunt me. I think maybe I should get some nuts now.

Angela said...

Okay, if you think your sentence is pulled out of your ass, no way am I letting you near my paper! You are the best writer in our class and you know it! Also, crap! Does this mean I have to take Trig?????? Whoa.
Angie